[Davis Democrats] We sure need this!

[Scott Lay]

Let’s all take a deep break
starting with me
to remember what this is all
about:

 


REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE
CONVENTION SCHEDULE


New York, NY

6:00 PM    Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell

6:30 PM    Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM    Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

6:45 PM    Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM    Seminar #1: Iraq Strategies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD

7:30 PM    First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM    Serve Freedom Fries

7:40 PM    EPA Address #1: Mercury-It's what's for dinner!

8:00 PM    Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM    Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM    John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your Children!!

8:30 PM    Round table discussion on reproductive rights  (MEN only)

8:50 PM     Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of the Future

9:00 PM    Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM    Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM    EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires

9:30 PM    Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM   Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM   Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

10:30 PM   Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

10:35 PM   Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

10:40 PM   John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM   Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans

10:46 PM   Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM   Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our Nation's Economy

11:10 PM   Hilary Clinton Piñata

11:20 PM   Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The Dangerous New
Cult

11:30 PM   Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

11:35 PM   Blame Clinton

11:40 PM   Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM   Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12: 00 PM   Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary




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