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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:
12.0pt'>Let’s all take a deep break…starting with me…to
remember what this is all about:</span></font></p>
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12.0pt'> </span></font></p>
<h2><b><font size=5 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:18.0pt'>REPUBLICAN
NATIONAL COMMITTEE<br>
CONVENTION SCHEDULE</span></font></b></h2>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:
12.0pt'>New York</span></font>, NY<br>
<br>
6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell<br>
<br>
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance<br>
<br>
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)<br>
<br>
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing<br>
<br>
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Iraq Strategies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD<br>
<br>
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong<br>
<br>
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries<br>
<br>
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury-It's what's for dinner!<br>
<br>
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next<br>
<br>
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh<br>
<br>
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your
Children!!<br>
<br>
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive
rights (MEN only)<br>
<br>
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of
the Future<br>
<br>
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat
Man"<br>
<br>
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong<br>
<br>
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires<br>
<br>
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings<br>
<br>
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas<br>
<br>
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy<br>
<br>
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho<br>
<br>
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in
headlights" stare<br>
<br>
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar
chastity belt<br>
<br>
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans<br>
<br>
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong<br>
<br>
10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our Nation's Economy<br>
<br>
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piņata<br>
<br>
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The
Dangerous New Cult<br>
<br>
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.<br>
<br>
11:35 PM Blame Clinton<br>
<br>
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies<br>
<br>
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself<br>
<br>
12: 00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary<br>
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<br>
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